Parenting is hard! Let’s get that out of the way right up front. When they are young it is physically exhausting, and when they are older it is a mental quagmire challenging enough to confound even Solomon the Wise. So, you would think that manufacturers of children’s products would try to make a parent’s life easier, rather than more difficult. Wrong!
Children’s clothing and accoutrements are made to aggravate rather than accessorize. They create unnecessary parental challenges. Just try to fold a baby bath towel and get all four corners to match evenly. The achievement of folding a baby towel is even more challenging than completing a Rubik’s Cube.
IT’S A SNAP
Or take the baby undershirts, the ones with the snaps. A structural engineer could not figure them out. Many is the time I have wanted to use duct tape just to get the undershirt to stay on properly. And what is so bad about an undershirt that goes over the head anyway?
Lest we forget the baby’s pajamas! There are eighteen snaps on each pair but only seventeen fasteners. 2:00 AM is no time to be snapping and unsnapping a pair of night clothes trying to come up with the optimal sequence.
And what is with the clothes sizes? Toddler sizes, 24 months, 2T, 4T…why isn’t there a 3T? It gets so complicated trying to decipher it all. I think the manufacturers of children’s clothing are sadistic and cruel and should be tried for parental abuse!
THE ULTIMATE ACCESSORY
Then there’s the hipster/baby carrier/boba wrap/embrace cozy! There’s even an option for a dad that looks like a parachute, The Ergonomic Baby Mission Critical. Who designed these contraptions of parental torture, NASA? They have more straps and clips than Beyoncé’s backup dancers. Attempting to put one of those on, in the parking lot of a mall, while the other kids are waiting to get out of their car seat, is the closest I’ve come to a nervous breakdown as a parent. And that’s saying something!
It is not as if all your faculties are in their optimal working order after a new baby arrives. With all the stress and anxiety that comes with 7 pounds, 14 ounces, being challenged by your child’s gear is the last thing you need.